chikyblonde's Diaryland Diary

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Wow.

(previously recorded)

How was my vacation?

A thought just occurred to me....for awhile i really struggled with; am I suppose to go? Would this be a good thing? Will things get weird and change? So i really freaked about it....even felt convicted by the Main Man Upstairs for not first seeking Him about if I should even go. And then the 'rents didn't help much and on and on and on and....

I remember Thursday morning, I was getting my stuff together, waiting for someone to get up and drive me to the airport and I said, "God, i don't really expect You to bless this vacation. I didn't seek You first about it and so, I just hope, in some way You will at least hlep me to have a good time. And open my eyes. Let me see things as You see them."

Guys, I'm at lose for words to explain how great it was. Not just because I finally got to actually meet an amazing person....but because God heard my prayer and answered it. I'm not gonna go deep into details because some things are just simply meant to be kept between the two of us. [smiles] And he already knows pretty much all of it. And that's the only person who really needs to know.

So as I sit on the plane home, writing this out, i think on my vacation through spiritual eyes. When i expected God to totally abandon me, He spoke to me through His word during one early morning. When i expected God to totally abandon me, He opened my eyes and I really, honestly, PHYSICALLY (in the spiritual sense...if that makes sense), got to see things in him. It's one thing for God to tell you little things about someone you never actually met. It's another when you get to actually SEE it in them. When i expected God to totally abandon me, I had no problems whatsoever with the flight, finances, health (except altitude sickness I went through for 2 days), no problems at all with the things I was most concerned with.....mainly being how well would I be "accepted" by not just his friends but especially by him. When i expected God to totally abandon me, He sits with me right now, holding me, comforting me, letting me cry in His presence as I deal with the "grief" of having to say goodbye and the onslaught of emotions that will need tending to soon.

It's a pretty amazing feeling when you're a part of something God wants you to be a part of. And when you keep it in the proper perspective. So, I can pretty much sum up in one verse this vacation....a verse that came to me just now. Not one that I had to search for:

Ephesians 3:20 - Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think....

[insert warm fuzzies]

Wow.

8:39 a.m. - July 13, 2005

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