chikyblonde's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ick. i dont feel much like updating here anymore. i don't feel that i can be "me" because im finding more and more personal people i know are finding my website....like there's a huge banner out somewhere along the interstate advertising my site. And i have no idea why they are reading me. Not that i feel i have to pretend to be someone I'm not here. But i don't like that i have to "tone down" my attitude, thoughts, opinions, etc because I'd hate to "offend" anyone else. Yeah sure, i shouldn't give a damn about what other people think of me but honestly, i do. I'm not the same person i was a few years ago. Sometimes I look at myself and think how sad it is that i have brushed aside some of the things i really believed in. And sometimes i look at myself and am just amazed at what a positive difference i see within MYSELF. I'm also kinda done with my LJ account too. I read through it the other day, from like day one when i started it (and don't bother trying to search for it, you won't find it.) and it's just alot of bitchin' and complaining about stuff that I have finally come to realize...isn't that big of a deal. whatever. I'm sick today. I was pretty sick yesterday as well. I don't know if it's the flu or if i just might have WNV because i didn't start getting sick like this until after I got ate to hell by mosquitos on friday. And no one else i know of has the flu. Eh. Last night i went to moms after work to get her thermometer to watch my temp. I'm at about 99.5, low-grade fever but bossman said if it gets higher than 100 i need to go to the hospital ASAP. But after going to mom's i went home, took a hot shower until the water ran cold, ate only because i knew i should, and succumbed to a sickness coma at about 8ish. And didn't wake up until 7 this morning. And when I say didn't wake up, i mean i DIDN'T WAKE UP for anything. no tossing & turning, nothing. Although i had some freaky weird dreams. Today I'm mostly very tired, weak, dizzy, lethargic, mild body aches, and swollen lymph nodes (even the ones in my hips are swollen...) so I guess that's better than the way i felt last night. In fact, i hurt too much to cry about it. im such a baby when im sick. 10:41 a.m. - July 26, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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