chikyblonde's Diaryland Diary

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Friendships are always tested in fire

two of my closest friends are going through the most difficult time of their life.

and to feel absolutely powerless to do anything to change their circumstances at times can be overwhelming.

but i learned a very important and valuable lesson recently. all i really CAN do is be supportive, offer advice when asked, and help wherever i can. but sometimes you just wish you could do more.

i wish i could take them away from the horribleness of what they are experiencing and lock them away from the world forever and ever. but i know that's not realistic.

this morning i prayed about all that was going on with them. and found it sort of difficult to not just say some random, typical god-please-help-them prayer.

and then i was hit suddenly with the infirmities of one friend. the overwhelming feeling of their dispair, anger, frustration, hatred was something i had never experienced while interceding for another. i suddenly knew what it was like for them mentally and emotionally for a good half hour. why i felt what i did i don't know. but i am ever so grateful and feel all that much closer to them.

i talked to the other friend for over an hour just now. just listening to them cry. finally understanding why they were drinking soooo much when they're not usually a drinker. and i cried with them. because i know exactly what their brother is going through. because i went through it myself.

a part of me still wishes i knew the magic words, the magic "thing" that would deliver them from all they are facing.

but i am content...with just being there for them.

9:02 p.m. - August 30, 2005

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