chikyblonde's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This entry proudly sponsored by Percocet.

I could easily get pissed at the turn of events that took place today....

....extremely pissed....

but i have opted to look at this situation as not only one that shows me the true focus and virtues of those "supposed" friends in my life but also as an opportunity to reflect within myself and see what the underlying cause to the anger is.

Constant dissatisfaction with my life causes me to no longer wonder what's wrong with other people in my life...but what's wrong with me. Not in some sad, pitiful, no-one-likes-me-everybody-hates-me-guess-i'll-go-eat-worms sense but a serious time-to-take-inventory of what i find is more important to myself.

I forgot for awhile there that I truly am to make myself. That i am self-made.

"I've built myself out of ash and agony
I am ready
I
Am
I
I am my own creation, I am, self-made [x3]
Destroyers
I am I
A bone heals
A bruise fades
But art is forever" - Otep

And I'm also reminded of something that Cy wrote. Although I won't post it in it's entirety simply because I don't know if you want your words posted all over the place....

"Time to learn to love myself
Because in the end, no one else will
Not correctly
Only I can accept myself as I am
Others will try to change me
Never accepting me at all

Only now have I come to realize
That I realy am selfmade
I AM I - And that's all I can be"

9:52 p.m. - September 17, 2005

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next