chikyblonde's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- L@@K! A REAL ENTRY! I TOTALLY just got reemed by bosslady.... it doesn't bother me so much that i got reemed... what bothers me is the fact that because of MY incompetance...someone else was directly affected. I have to make the decision...do i continue down this pursuit or just give it up. a part of me wants to give it up. but a part of me also wants to make right what i made wrong. Ahhh....the loving STABS of conviction. Because not only do i feel bad about my incompetance with Avon (stop laughing at me ok....)but also with my responsibilites to the Y. Ok, so I'm gonna get my ass in gear ASAP! In other news, here's an update on my goals: 1. Stop drinking - Last night the urge to drink was pretty strong. But i went to the gym and when i was finished with class, had a message on my phone from a friend asking me to pick them up from the restaurant we drink at usually on monday nights. I went and they bought me a beer. And i only had one. And i didn't feel upset because i only had one nor did i go and buy a 6 pack after dropping them off. So YAY! for me and self control. 2. stop overanalyzing - yeah...plenty of opportunities for that one. and actually...this goal is gonna be more like CONTROL MY EMOTIONS! I did succumb to anger a couple of times...and then was reminded of something i read this morning that i shall elaborate on in a few. 3. financially get back on track - well....i balanced my checkbook and had no surprises...GO ME! that was nice considering last month i was $40 SHORT and wanted to cry. And I'm on track with my Avon again so hopefully i'll stop getting behind in payments on that one. luckily, the paycheck was $10 more than i expected so now i can pay the electric bill.... 4. Pick up a hobby - crocheting is going well and i've been to the gym everynight this week & plan on the next two days as well. Tonight's class was DAMN goooooood. She played some rawkin' music and it was kombat kardio (that's how she spells it) and i was JABBIN AND KICKIN AWAY!!! 5. Spend 10 min. with God - ok, i spend whatever time i have and that doesn't always mean 10 minutes. but I'm gonna include what this mornings little devotion was about and how it helped in Goal #2: Run the Race Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward. We live in a society that is used to doing whatever feels good right now. But instant gratification never brings lasting satisfaction. How friggin timely is that?!?! So yeah...things are going good. But honestly, I'm a bit scared. I'm scared that these positive changes are gonna scare some people off. I don't wanna be one of those bobble-head, bubble-gum, happy-go-lucky chicks. Cuz they kinda sicken me too......I don't want people to think they can't talk to me or hang out with me or whatever because "she's just too damn happy all the time." I want balance with it. So i don't know. I suppose that's not practicing Goal #2. Meh. I sprained my wrist IN MY SLEEP!!!! now if a dude told me that...I'd be like...yeaaaaaaah.....but i have no idea how i sprained it. I know i woke up at one point in the night and my hand was numb. Ok. I have 45 minutes to crochet and eat before Nip/Tuck comes on. Because when Nip/Tuck is on....NOTHING.ELSE.EXISTS. I take no phone calls, no guests, nothing. "I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman." - Jack Handey 8:02 p.m. - September 20, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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